What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 00:05
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I have no regrets .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She found it foreign!.
9 Cool New Gadgets to Keep on Your Radar - Gear Patrol
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
This is soul school!.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
What should I expect after a BBL surgery?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Comes on , in middle age.
Prince William’s friend Sunjay Kapur dead at 53 after swallowing bee during polo match - Page Six
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
And who doesn’t know suffering?
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
The European Central Bank is almost guaranteed to cut rates. Here's what could happen next - CNBC
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He knew the spot.
The Elder Scrolls 6 fans salty over new trailer - GAMINGbible
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
After 6 new cases over the weekend, North Dakota has nation's highest measles rate - InForum
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I was seconnd youngest,
I write beautiful poetry .
Why did i forgive my father ?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Top prospects for 2025 Draft arrive in Buffalo for Scouting Combine - NHL.com
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I was very sick at this time too.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
She married twice! .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
She was in good health!
Who then, do I blame.?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
It was going to be , some day.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
She loved him until the end.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I said to her
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I will be 64.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
We all went to grammer schools
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I was 9 years of age.
Put me off passion for life!!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I waited trembling.
When she asked me how she looked .
Was to survive, this bastard.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
She wouldn,t have been !
He resisted the act ,that day.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But, we were locked up after school.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
My family never makes their pension either.
What did i know ?
But ive been too sick for many years..
Would this be the day?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
We were not on the streets..
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I was scared of men, in general
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Ive learnt so much.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I think the readers, may guess!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I had hoped to write a book about this .
All the time i was locked up.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I never cut or harmed myself..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And i lived it daily.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
But it wasn’t much.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
So whats the point in blame.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
As i do to all so called friends.?
I couldn’t, believe it.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So, i spoilt her more .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
Im still living with it.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One cannot live in the past .
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I don,t even have a pension.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I could never make a relationship work though!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
My life is so biszare .
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.